Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Rules and The List, Pt. 1

Well, after an afternoon of laundry-doing and Cootie-playing (that's not what it sounds like) and Avatar-seeing, I'm finally getting down to the housekeeping. The Rules are very simple: I will try my best to abide by both the letter and the spirit of the week's challenge -- meaning no weaseling on technicalities by having someone else do something I cannot (see challenge #5) unless it is completely unavoidable. If I fail on a given day, then I have to make up for it on another day until I get seven days of each challenge completed, although they will not have to be consecutive. Because I'll be on the honor system, I'm afraid you're just going to have to take my word for it.

I nearly blew today's challenge about fifteen minutes out of the gate. I was standing at the stove making breakfast when Peter made a comment, I can't remember what, about something coming out of the bottom of something else. When I hear the word "bottom", well -- I perk up and my mouth opens immediately. That didn't sound right, and I'm having to stop myself RIGHT NOW from typing a stupid joke. Anyway, I literally had to bite my lip to stop from making a poop joke. Even Hannah says all I talk about is poop.

Well, it's getting late, so here's the first quarter of 52 changes, subject to change themselves. These will not necessarily be the first thirteen weeks, either -- they're just the first things that come to mind.

1. Perform some form of exercise -- gym, yoga, treadmill -- for an hour every day. I should probably get on this sooner than later.
2. No soda -- especially not my blessed Coke, which I drink every morning. What the hell -- let's make it no caffeine either, in case I'm tempted to move to coffee.
3. A week of vegetarianism. I won't make the rest of the family follow, though, if they don't want to.
4. Learn to pop and lock. I can do that in a week, right?
5. Buy nothing -- no consumer goods, no groceries, nothing. Not even a lollipop from the Victory Church guys.
6. Make all food from scratch. Even bread and butter. This is a late summer one for sure, once the garden gets crackin'.
7. Put everything away -- mail, laundry, shoes, everything. If I take it out, I put it back.
8. No swearing. Not even in traffic.
9. Practice perfect hygiene -- floss twice daily, wash face every night, style hair every morning instead of an indifferent floppy ponytail, all that jazz, including starting with and maintaining a decent manicure and pedicure. And posture.
10. Follow all traffic laws to the letter. No speeding, no lane weaving, no rolling stops, no driving with my feet (unless it's necessary, naturally.)
11. Make the bed every day -- mine and Hannah's, although I'm not touching the boy's.

12. Bike to work. I used to do this every day, but then Hannah started preschool.
13. Wake up ass-early. Ass-early to me, for the record, is 6 am.

Okay, basta per oggi. Good night.


  1. The most surprising part of all this is that you don't already know how to pop and lock. What have you done with your time?

    I'm with you on making my own butter. I've never done it, but how hard can it be? And, there will be buttermilk leftover, so you can make buttermilk biscuits and slather them with fresh homemade butter.

  2. Homemade butter is only as good as the cream you use. Make sure, if you can, to get to one of those awesome Farmer's Markets I hear about - Chicagoland must have a cow somewhere - and get fresh cream if you can.

    You're inspiring, really. I might make this many changes in a decade. The boys are back in school today, and my house is mostly tidy; there may have to be some exercise. After this coffee.

  3. Thanks for the tip on the butter! The farmers' market I go to most often doesn't have a dairy person, so I'll probably have to make a special trip to Green City Market when the time comes.

    The IDEA of making this many changes is inspiring, but who knows what's going to stick? Which reminds me, I need to make another housekeeping post.

    Jen, I am surprised that you've never made your own butter!

  4. Good luck with number 3.