Friday, January 22, 2010


It is not hard to talk me out of things I don't particularly feel like doing. Yesterday I was on edge all day. I could feel every one of my muscles twanging and I couldn't figure out exactly why I was so jangly but I couldn't stop it, either. I've been a little on edge all week, but I think yesterday was especially bad because we finally received a few RSVPs for Hannah's birthday party this Saturday, and so my worrying went from "what if nobody comes" to "what if EVERYONE comes" and all of a sudden I couldn't string two thoughts together, but my mind was still racing. I stood for a full ten minutes staring blankly at pinatas at the party store before making a decision. Peter thinks I'm all wound up because I am scared that Hannah will feel bad if her party isn't well-attended, and maybe he's right in some respects but I am also aware that she is four, and she feels bad if she can't find barrettes that match. And honestly, I always get a little nervous before parties or having company because I'm a dork.

So this is what my head was like walking into the house yesterday, an hour later than usual because I had gone grocery shopping for party food. And I was trying to get dinner ready, put laundry away, pick up in general and finish up the "happy birthday" banner that for some reason I decided I must make myself. (It did turn out cute, though.) And as the evening ticked on, it was suddenly 10:30 and the 15 minutes I mentally set aside to finish the pantry and the half-hour I planned yoga were rapidly becoming an impossibility. Around 11, Peter patted the couch beside him so I'd sit for a minute to watch Conan, and that, as they say, was that.

Before I went to sleep, though, I wrote down a list of the things I need to accomplish before the party on Saturday, and when I added times to it all, it helped me settle down some (although thinking about it now, I failed to add a couple of things to the list.) I did wake up early this morning and got some yoga in, which also helped. But the pantry is still half-done, and I blame Conan and Peter.

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