Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It had to happen: poop chat

If you don't want to read about pooping and peeing, stop reading now.

Okay, you were warned. I eat a lot, so consequently, I poop a lot. I don't mean pooping a lot in one sitting (although that is sometimes the case), I mean frequently. Like three, four, sometimes five times a day. I call it the garbage-in-garbage-out system, because within half an hour of eating a meal, the last one is on its way out. It works well for me, generally speaking; I never feel like I'm in my second trimester with a poop baby, know what I mean?

Well, since this week has begun I've noticed a swift, sharp downturn in frequency AND volume. (What, doesn't everyone fish it out and weigh it?) I don't know that I'm eating less, although I suppose it's possible. But I don't feel hungry or anything, and pretty much anytime I actively campaign to eat less, I feel hungry. I can't imagine that increasing the ratio of veg and grains in my diet would make me poop less, though. I hope I haven't angered my digestive tract with this experiment. Lord knows an angry pooper can really jack up your day. Maybe it needs frequent charred-animal sacrifices to keep it happy, just like the entire pantheon of my old gods. I guess we will see.

And then there's the pee. Normally, I don't pay nearly as much attention or give as much thought to pee as I do to poop, but I have to say, when you pee and it smells like a donut, you notice. I have no idea what that is about.


  1. All I know is, I poop way more when I'm on one of those high protein diets. So, the opposite is probably very likely.

  2. I have always envied your poopitude. Maybe it IS the meat. I tend to not eat a lot of it. Hmm.

  3. I'm reasonably certain that everything is, you know, making its way out. So it's gotta be the meat.

  4. If you're eating a lot of cheese, that can gum up the works. But hey, fiber!


  5. Holy smokes! I never noticed before how it's all chicks in the fiber commercials!

    Sarah Haskins is pretty fuckin excellent. I don't watch her segment regularly but it always kills me when I do.