Wednesday, February 3, 2010

No soap

My teenage boy informed me this morning he is out of soap. If you have any experience with 16-year-old boys, you know they get rank in a major hurry. I don't yet know if this means "I've been out of soap for three days and am indignant that you didn't monitor my personal soap levels, so you MUST go to the store today or I will smell like a goat and leave moist contrails of funk in my wake" or "I'm running out of soap but am okay for a few days, so please pick some up next time you're at the store." It really is a toss-up as to which he meant. But assuming it's the former, it would really not be fair for me to withhold soap from him for my own purposes, would it?

Here's the other soap-related thing. We have four members of the family. We also have four different kinds of body-cleaning soap. Actually we have five; Hannah has one brand downstairs and another upstairs. We all have our own brands of shampoo, too. So when I make my shopping list, I can't just list, say, "soap" and buy a big-ass box of it at Costco so we're all set for soap for six months -- I have to specify "AJ soap" or "Erica soap" or whatever. As a result I'm running to the store more often because this or that person's special soap has run out. Thank god we're (relatively) consolidated on toothpaste.

This isn't to say that everyone else is the problem; obviously, I'm part of the problem too, with my salt scrubs and facial scrubs and fancy conditioner. I don't want to smell like AJ wants to smell -- but really, how long does that smell last? Half an hour before Old Spice Game Day or whatever is a distant sensory memory? Why does this shit matter to the point that I willingly consume more and more?

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