Friday, May 21, 2010

Pour it in my hand for a nickel

About an hour ago I spent the better part of ten minutes trying to talk the 7-Eleven guy into giving me a hot dog without the paper sleeve.

Me: Hi, I'd like a hot dog, but I have a question --
7-Eleven guy: They're all beef.
Me: No, that's fine, I just don't want the container or paper or whatever they come in. I just want the hot dog.
7-Eleven guy, eyeing me suspiciously: Are you looking for a discount or something?
Me: No no, I'll pay full price, I just don't want any packaging.
7-Eleven guy, slightly panicky: Are you from the board of health? Is this some kind of test?
Me: NO. I just...I'm doing...look. I know this sounds weird, so I'm sorry. I want the hot dog, I'll pay full price for it, as long as I don't get any paper or plastic packaging or serviceware with it.
7-Eleven guy: want me to pick it up with the tongs, put it in the bun, and just...hand it to you?
Me: Exactly!
7-Eleven guy: I don't know if I can do that.
Me: I'm just really trying to cut down on waste, is the thing. I'm going to pay you and everything, and there's no one here but me and you, so if you're worried about that, I won't tell.
7-Eleven guy, looking at the security camera: Um...
Me, sighing: Never mind. I'll just take three bananas.


  1. LOL. Who knew it would be so hard?

  2. Right? It would have been faster to apply for a job, get hired, and serve myself the goddamned hot dog.

    Also those freaky taquitos and "hamburgers" shaped like tubes look like glistening turds spinning around on the rollers.