Monday, June 14, 2010

Weeks 22, 23, and 24: Three in one blow

Yeah, so...listen. I won't begin to make excuses; let's just say that no-makeup week got a little cray-cray and I kind of lost my way from there, and leave it at that. (Didn't get crazy due the no-makeup rule, although I did have to meet my little sister's boyfriend wearing no makeup and with facial hair issues, but that just served to buttress Leslie's constant claim of being the prettier sister. You're welcome, Les.) I did consider retroactively throwing in some "challenges" like sleeping late, or eating candy every day, both of which I faithfully completed for two weeks total, but ultimately my flimsy little conscience prevailed, and here I am, ready to do the job I set out to do. And I'm going to do it all in one week. Give or take. You know. Thus this Monday, I embark on an unprecedented challenge: do all three at once. The challenges are to ride my bike for one errand or commute each day; to do fifteen minutes of yoga every day; and to cap it all off, use no sarcasm.

Allow me to explain. The first challenge, the biking challenge, is the one I had planned for this week anyway, because it is Bike to Work Week here in Chicago and companies are in competition for the highest number of participants over the week. My particular company hasn't had a lot of wins lately, so I'd like to do my part, and maybe that will delay the layoff that is surely coming my way soon. Plus, it's looking to be a fairly temperate week. My bike has the flattest of flat tires, a condition I am finding myself in a lot these days, but I was going to circumvent that little problem by using my son's bike this morning. That is, until I remembered I have no clue where my bike rack for the car is, and I still need to drive Hannah to school in the morning and home at night. I mean, the idea of Hannah on a kid seat or in one of those terrifying bike-back carts flopping around behind me in traffic is enough to make me crap myself. I could encourage her to take her little Radio Flyer bike alongside me, but I don't see that going particularly well; I'd end up towing her. All that said, I have errands to run that I can do on a bike tonight without too much trouble. For instance, I would really like those new Goody Spin Pins. Messy buns really flip my switch. That didn't sound right, but I'ma leave it. So maybe I'll hop on my bike tonight and head to the local Walgreens to purchase said pins. Thank you, commercials! Or maybe I will do a real errand, like going to Home Depot and buying an extender hose. The possibilities are endless.

And then, the yoga. It needs to be hip-focused, because my right hip is feeling elderly these days. I'm pretty sure it's nascent hip bursitis or maybe arthritis, which makes me feel EXTRA old, but it's been coming for a while; I've had this problem in the past but not as persistent. Its likely cause is many years of carring a child on that hip -- a child that was way too old/heavy to be carried. Even twiggy little Hannah and her 34-ish pounds are too much. That plus I am a leg-crosser, which my last doctor told me was bad bad bad. (I just uncrossed my legs. Feet flat on the floor!) I'm planning to see the doctor when I can get a weekend appointment for a real diagnosis and maybe a recommendation for physical therapy, but in the meantime, some online research has told me that yoga can help ease the condition. It's really not too painful, it's just sort of naggy and sore and makes sitting in a chair low-level uncomfortable. I am tired of it and would like to nip it in the bud if possible. Plus, I like yoga and maybe if I do it consistently again, maybe it'll be the kick in the pants I need to get it going again. I mean, this one is encroaching in the "make time for Erica" territory which always leads to the "stealing time from family/job" guilt, but we'll see how it goes. If it helps, I can't see not doing it, even if it means leaving the laundry or sweeping for another day.

Finally, the sarcasm thing. You have probably noticed by now that sarcasm is my primary language. I am sarcastic without thinking; it's just how I communicate (as does the rest of my family.) In fact, I had to rewrite or go back over sentences written here to remove sarcastic phrases; I had to do the same with a LiveJournal entry earlier today. I don't think that it's mean-spirited (most of the time) but I do think that being sarcastic helps keep me from being emotionally honest, helps me avoid topics I find uncomfortable to discuss in a straightforward way. I don't think anyone wants to be 100% emotionally honest all the time, but there is a world of difference between saying, say, "you know, I really like being around you" to your spouse and sarcastically braying "Oh my GOD I never want to be apart again! Come with me to the bathroom and let's share!" There is a time for the latter, and I would argue that it's most of the time -- I don't think that I could be nakedly affectionate all of the time (again, not sounding right, but I'm going to leave it) and I think it'd be sort of gross and slobbery. It's not my style -- but the braying sarcasm is. That said, sometimes people need to hear the unvarnished, un-jokey version to really get it and believe it to be true. This isn't the best example, but you get where I'm going.

So, here we go.

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